Effective Leadership, Part 4: Dealing With The Conflicts From Within

This is the fourth part of a series on leadership gleaned from a study of the book of Nehemiah. In our previous three articles we have already learned several incredible lessons on leadership from the book. Seeing how Nehemiah led the Israelites to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem in just 52 days provides those lessons for us. In our previous article we discussed how there was continual opposition that Nehemiah faced during this entire project, and we looked in that article at how Nehemiah dealt with the opposition of enemies outside of his group of Judeans. Here, we will discuss conflicts that arose from within the group of Judeans in the midst of rebuilding the wall, and how Nehemiah dealt with those things. Seeing how Nehemiah handled these conflicts will help us as leaders, even if it is only a few that we lead.

To review the historical context for this story, the southern kingdom of Israel, Judea, had been taken captive to Babylon in 587 BC by the Babylonians. The Babylonians destroyed their temple, their houses, and tore down the wall around Jerusalem, burning its gates. Then, when Cyrus the Persian later conquered Babylon, he immediately allowed the Israelites who had been taken captive by Babylon to return to Jerusalem. Zerubbabel first returned with a group of Jews in 538 BC to rebuild the temple. The Jewish temple was finally completed in twenty years, but then the rest of the work of rebuilding stalled for seventy years. Next, an Israelite priest named Ezra returned to Jerusalem in 458-457 BC to enforce the Jewish law and continue the rebuilding of the city. His work on the wall and city stalled and accomplished basically nothing, though he did teach the people faithfully.

Nehemiah, was a cupbearer to King Artaxerxes of Persia, and in 445 BC he heard that his people in Israel were in great distress and reproach. Their temple had been rebuilt, but the city wall was still broken down and its gates burned. Nehemiah was grieved by this news and wept and mourned for days, then fasted and prayed for four months for his people in Jerusalem and the work of God to be rebuilt there. Nehemiah prayed and prayed that the Lord would put it in the heart of the king to allow him to go and rebuild the wall around Jerusalem, and as he prayed he planned everything that he would need and what he would do in rebuilding the wall. The Lord finally opened the king’s heart and allowed him to return and rebuild the wall around the city. He returned with a group and they began rebuilding the wall.

In our last study, we discussed the fact that whenever we as God’s people attempt any work for God, we are going to face opposition, and that this happens because we have an enemy of our souls that we are always engaging. The Lord, for His own purposes, sometimes allows the Devil to work through people who oppose us, and the Devil is always attempting to keep people from coming to saving faith in Christ. So, when we are God’s messengers, if the Devil can’t hinder us by placing obstacles in our way or leading us into compromise in our faith and morals, then he will attempt to hinder us by sending people to join us so he can work within our group and hinder us.

It is actually the opposition from within that is the most destructive because history has shown over and over that God’s people are usually made strong by persecution from without. However, when they can be corrupted and compromised from within their own ranks then the consequences are much more destructive and long lasting. A whole denomination can be rendered totally apostate, for instance.

There are lots of admonitions in the scriptures to be of one mind in the church and not cause division or factions, such as Romans 12:16: “Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.”

It is important for any leader to watch carefully for those who cause turmoil and conflict within your group. In the New Testament there are lots of warnings to beware of factious and contentious people who can and will come in among the church and cause lots of problems, just as the apostle Paul warned the church in Acts 20:29: “I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.” What I see that, more than anything, keeps churches from being healthy and growing is that often people in the churches don’t get along with each other, and they don’t follow Jesus’ command to love one another even as the Lord has loved us.

In considering conflicts that occur with people when you are doing service to the Lord, you need to always keep in mind that there is a spiritual force or entity that is interacting with your life through circumstances and people. Paul wrote about this in Ephesians 6:12, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers , against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” In that chapter in Ephesians, Paul goes on to discuss important things to consider when you are involved in spiritual warfare, including what are the weapons of our warfare. Conflicts between people in the church must be looked at and dealt with as a "spiritual warfare," and never just on the basis of a personality or cultural basis. "Personality conflicts" should also never be an excuse for not getting along in any church, or any team, not if you are seeking what is best for the whole.

Several weeks back, my wife and I took a diversion from our normal routines and visited a newer church plant nearby on a Sunday morning, and I was talking with the pastor before the service, he told me, “We have such a great group, there are no bad attitudes or conflicts in our group we have such great people.” I told him that this was great, but this is not going to last. Unity and getting along are things that everyone in the body of Christ is responsible for and must learn and take pains to “strive” to maintain.

My own pastor once gave me some sound advice about dealing with conflicts that occur within the body of Christ. He said, “Deal with conflicts quickly because the longer you wait the more damage that will be incurred in your group.”

Haven’t we all seen many sports teams decimated by a coach allowing destructive and divisive attitudes to go unchecked? Don’t we all know of many examples of teams that are filled with incredible athletes who cannot achieve great things because of poor chemistry? On the professional level, there are the T.O.’s and Moss types in the NFL that have wrecked many teams. But, I have seen this same sort of thing happen in amateur sports at every level. This “chemistry” problem usually boils down to a situation where a coach is so enamored by the potential a very gifted athlete brings to the team that he is unwilling to discipline that person because of their destructive and negative attitudes. I have seen several times that good athletes have quit teams because they can’t deal with that one superstar bad apple that spoils the whole barrel, and, what is ironic is that the athlete who causes the trouble usually quits the team before a crucial game, is made ineligible because of grades or code of conduct violations, or doesn’t even go out for the team their last year or two of eligibility. Then, the team is left decimated because some the good athletes have long since quit the team. I have never seen a team succeed with one key player with a terrible attitude that has been left unchecked. I do not believe it is EVER a good idea to put up with one player’s destructive and bad attitudes.

The way in which some individuals are destructive to a team is in their refusing to accept and follow your leadership. Others are discouraged by this, and some can pick up the same attitude. A team has to follow its leaders to be successful. So, this too is an attitude that must be confronted and overcome if the team is to work together towards their great goals.

The initial opposition which Nehemiah faced in the rebuilding of the wall occurred not long after he arrived in Jerusalem, when he was derided and made fun of by Sanballat and Tobiah, the powerful governors of Samaria and Moab. Then, when quite a bit of progress on the progress on the wall had been made, the enemies of Jerusalem on all four sides began to unite together and discuss a joint assault against the city to stop the work on the wall. However, this threat was countered and averted by Nehemiah telling the people to carry a weapon with them whenever they worked on the wall, and by setting a guard on the wall 24/7. Then, after this external opposition had occurred, progress again continued until all of a sudden the workers on the walls went on strike and quit working because of conflicts within the Judeans. There had been a famine in Judea due to the number of people who had come to rebuild the wall, and many had run out of money needed to buy food. The rich and nobles had lent money to the people to buy food, but at a high interest rate (this is called “usury”). Then, when people had not been able to pay their debts, their property had been taken away from them. Many of the people had even sold their daughters as slaves to their countrymen to whom they owed money. The people had given up the work on the wall because they realized that having a rebuilt wall wouldn’t matter a bit to them if they and their children were just made to be slaves afterwards. What would be the point? No one could concentrate on the work any longer.

After consulting with himself (iow, thinking and praying about it), Nehemiah reacted quickly and decisively to this crisis: Nehemiah 5:6-8 - “Then I was very angry when I had heard their outcry and these words. I consulted with myself and contended with the nobles and the rulers and said to them, “You are exacting usury, each from his brother!” Therefore, I held a great assembly against them. I said to them, “We according to our ability have redeemed our Jewish brothers who were sold to the nations; now would you even sell your brothers that they may be sold to us?” Then they were silent and could not find a word to say.” Nehemiah followed Jesus’ admonition in Matthew chapter 18 about what to do when you discover that your brother has sinned. First, Nehemiah went and personally confronted the rich and nobles about what they were doing. Then, when they wouldn’t listen, he called an assembly and publicly exposed the fact that the rich and nobles were taking advantage of their brothers in a crisis, questioning the rich and the nobles about how they could enslave their brothers when they had all come to Jerusalem in the first place to rebuild the city since the Jews were slaves captive in Persia. The rich and nobles were speechless and couldn’t justify themselves.

Then, in Nehemiah 5:9-11 Nehemiah demanded that they give everyone back all that they had taken from them, and quit charging usury: “Again I said, “The thing which you are doing is not good; should you not walk in the fear of our God because of the reproach of the nations, our enemies? “And likewise I, my brothers and my servants are lending them money and grain. Please, let us leave off this usury. “Please, give back to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive groves and their houses, also the hundredth part of the money and of the grain, the new wine and the oil that you are exacting from them.” The rich and the nobles agreed and returned everything that they had confiscated, evidently the people forgave and forgot the transgressions made against them (a key ingredient to any successful conflict resolution), and the crisis from within was squelched. Work continued on the rebuilding of the wall and it was completed in just 52 days.

Glenn C. Daman, an author who has written a very good book on the dynamics of pastoring small churches called, “Leading The Small Church,” has written a very informative and pertinent internet article called, “When Sheep Squabble — Dealing With Conflict in the Smaller Church” (http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/200502/200502_086_squabble.cfm ). He makes a number of incredibly good points and applications that relate to all of us who lead any types of groups. He writes, “The small church revolves around the close relationships formed within the congregation. Because of this, many believe that a small church is a place where deeply caring people who love one another and mutually support each other gather to worship, where conflicts are nonexistent, and where “never is heard a discouraging word.” While this is true of many smaller congregations most of the time, it is not true of every congregation all the time. Conflict is a reality that confronts a congregation regardless of how loving and caring the people are. The difference between a loving congregation and one settling into patterns of warfare is not the amount of conflict or the intensity of conflict, but the way they respond to and resolve conflict. Loving churches resolve conflict with minimal damage to long-term relationships. Warring congregations allow conflicts to fester and grow. They never seek resolution and often add new conflicts to their existing problems.”

Daman goes on then and discusses a number of important points about what conflicts produce, including:

Conflict undermines the morale of the pastor
Conflict undermines the morale of the small church
Conflicts affect the whole
Conflicts affect the testimony of the church

Daman discusses in the article also how that because of the dynamics and nature of the small church, the pastor can go about to resolve these conflicts so that harmony can be regained and the church again be strong, united, and effective in its mission: “Because the small church is relationally driven, the first and most crucial element of conflict resolution is personal and direct interaction with the other person. Many conflicts between two people can be handled by a personal phone call or visit. The pastor can serve as an informal mediator between the two parties, helping them understand one another and come to a common and agreeable solution. The foundation of this approach to problem solving is the relationship the pastor has with the two people. If a pastor develops solid relationships with his people, they will respect and welcome his involvement in the situation. If the pastor, however, remains aloof and distant from his congregation, his involvement will be seen as an intrusion and cause the conflict to escalate. When issues arise between people that cause tension, the pastor should be able to go to them, listen and assess the issue, and provide suggestions for a quick and fair resolution. In a small church, the pastor is quickly aware of conflicts and usually has a positive, personal relationship with the people involved. This relationship provides opportunities for pastoral involvement in conflict resolution.”

So, in conclusion, it is important for you as a leader to pay attention to how those under your leadership get along, as well as for destructive and bad attitudes in team members which could have the effect of ruining the entire chemistry and effectiveness of the team or group. Pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment, but deal firmly and quickly with those who cause dissention and division, in order to minimize the fallout that can and will occur. In your confrontation of individuals, always follow the biblical admonitions to hope the best and believe the best about people (see 1 Corinthians 13), and if possible, try to consider that you are providing a way for that person to be restored back to the group after they have had a change of attitude.

If you are involved in a ministry, remember that you are really waging spiritual warfare and that the real battle is going on in the spiritual realm. Therefore, approach what you are doing prayerfully and carefully. When the men had pummeled Jesus numerous times, put a crown of thorns on his head, pounded nails through His hands and feet, and hung Him on a cross, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” Jesus realized those men were being duped and deceived in carrying out their malicious act against Him.

Remember, it is never worth it to gamble or sacrifice your whole team or group for one person, no matter how gifted they are. And finally, don't think that conflicts within your team or group are going to somehow just fix themselves if you, like the ostrich, stick your head in the sand and ignore them. My personal experience and the stories I have read throughout my lifetime tell me that they just get worse if you do that. That these sorts of conflicts are dealt with effectively is part of what defines great leaders, and it is also what also produces the chemistry necessary for successful teams...